Found some funny quotes
The Box
Sigint: Uh, Snake... What are you doing?
Snake: I'm in a box.
Sigint: A cardboard box? Why are you...?
Snake: I dunno. I was just looking at it and I suddenly got this urge to get inside. No, not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here; in the box.
Sigint: Destiny...?
Snake: Yeah. And then when I put it on, I suddenly got this feeling of inner peace. I can't put it into words. I feel... safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true happiness.
Sigint: ...
Snake: Does any of that make sense?
Sigint: Not even a little.
Snake: You should come... inside the box!... Then you'll know what I mean.
Sigint: Man, I don't wanna know what you mean! Between you and Para-Medic, is everyone but me that is hooked up with the Major strange!?
Snake: ...
Sigint: Yeah, well, anyway, I suppose even that dumbass box might make a decent disguise if you wear it inside a building.
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A truly Naked Snake
Sigint: Snake, what's up? Why are you naked? I know there's a "NAKED" option under "UNIFORM" that lets you take off the upper part of your uniform. But without a shirt on, your camouflage sucks, and your stamina goes down faster. You don't get any advantages whatsoever.
Snake: Sure there are.
Sigint: Like what?
Snake: It feels good.
Sigint: ...Man, you do whatever you want.
Snake: I will, thanks. Just one question, though.
Sigint: What?
Snake: Is there a way to take off my pants?
Sigint: Say WHAT!?
Snake: My pants, can I...
Sigint: Ah, hell no! This FOX unit is a nut fest!
(Snake laughs to himself)
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Jack Bond
Para-Medic: Snake, have you ever seen "007: From Russia with Love?"
Snake: I don't like those movies. Real spies are nothing like James Bond. It's pure fantasy.
Para-Medic: Snake, I don't think the Major's going to like you saying that.
Snake: And even though it's fiction, I can't help but comparing myself to Bond.
Zero: What exactly don't you like about James Bond? Is it the fantastic gadgets? The cars? The guns?
Snake: Major...!
Zero: Snake, wouldn't you like to have a gun shaped like a pen?
Snake: What good is a pen going to do me in the jungle? I'd look like a fool.
Zero: Then what about a snake-shaped gun? You could make it look like you're grappling with a giant snake and then get a shot in on the enemy while they're distracted.
Snake: OK, now you're being ridiculous.
Zero: We'll make you a snake-shaped gun that folds up and fits into an attache case.
Snake: Will you give it a rest?
Zero: Oh, I get it. You're worried about how to handle the ladies, aren't you?
Snake: No...
Zero: I knew it. Hmm... to tell you the truth, I don't like the idea of playing hanky-panky with enemy femme fatales, either. But that's part of Bond's appeal. You could learn a thing or two from him. What about this EVA? What are you planning to do with her?
Snake: I... I don't even trust her yet.
Zero: That's what I mean. You can't let yourself get involved. This is a game of spy versus spy. She's using you just as much as you're using her.
Snake: I realize that.
Zero: You've got to grab the initiative. And to do that, you've got to get the upper hand in the relationship. That's what a spy is supposed to do.
Snake: Get the upper hand... I don't think I'm cut out for that mission.
Zero: Maybe if you changed your code name to Double-O-Snake?
Snake: Major...
Zero: 007 is the biggest thing to come out of England since the Mayflower. I wouldn't be surprised if they made 20 more of those movies.
Para-Medic: Didn't you know? The Major is a huge James Bond fan. Don't get him worked up like this.
Snake: Worked up?
Para-Medic: Maybe you don't realize this, but now that you've got him started talking about Bond, I'm going to have to listen to him lecture for a whole hour after he gets off the radio.
Snake: You have my sympathy.
Para-Medic: It's too bad you can't enjoy such a great movie, though.
Snake: I guess I'm just one of those people who can't enjoy spy flicks.
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Removing a transmitter
EVA: Snake, come here for a minute. There's something in here, it's so hard...
Snake: When did it get like that?
EVA: Hold still, let me do it.
Snake: You know, I've been trained to do this kind of thing myself...
EVA: Just relax and let me handle it.
Snake: Ok.
EVA: I can't believe how small it is...
Snake: Yeah, but it gets the job done.
EVA: Really? Here, lift up your hips.
Snake: Like this?
EVA: Yeah. How's that?
Snake: You're pretty good at that.
EVA: Yeah, everybody tells me that. Hold still, I'm not done yet.
Snake: AHHH!!!
EVA: There! A transmitter! (The entire incident turns out to be EVA removing a lodged transmitter).
Snake: Is that how they do it in the KGB?
EVA: Sometimes. Would you rather I did it American style?
Snake: Hm... but how'd you know there was a transmitter there? That's some female intuition you've got.
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Raikov's Reputation
EVA: OK, your Raikov disguise is complete. Now they won't stop you no matter what you do.
Snake: Even if I punch someone in the face?
EVA: Right.
Snake: Really?
EVA: Really.
Snake: Why?
EVA: Raikov's just that kind of guy.
Snake: ...
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I like MGS2
Tom: Snake, are you wearing that mask again?
Snake: Yeah. For some reason it feels kind of... nostalgic.
Tom: Yeah well... for some reason I don't like it.
Snake: Why not?
Tom: Something about that face just rubs me the wrong way.
Snake: It looks fine to me... but if you hate it that much, why did you give it to me in the first place?
Tom: Well... that mask was originally created for use in another mission. An agent was supposed to disguise himself as a Soviet officer and sneak into an enemy installation. We had it all set to go, but certain circumstances forced us to abort the mission. With the mission cancelled, the mask was going to be thrown away... but the guy at the CIA's tech division who created it pitched a fit...
Snake: Why'd he do that?
Tom: He said it was too good to throw away.
Snake: ...
Tom: According to him, that mask is a revolutionary new design that lets the wearer blink, something that wasn't possible up until now.
Snake: I'd think you'd want to make the lips move before bothering with the blinking.
Tom: Yeah, I thought so too, but for some reason he's obsessed with making it blink...
Snake: Whoever he is, he sounds like a crackpot.
Tom: Mmm. Well, he does good work. But I spend three days a month just dealing with the complaints we get about him... ah, well, never mind... Anyway, I decided to put this mask we had in storage to good use by hiding your identity from the gunship crew.
Snake: I get it... so this mask is based on a model somewhere.
Tom: That's right.
Snake: What do I do if I meet that guy?
Tom: That's not going to be a problem.
Snake: Why not?
Tom: The man the mask is based on is a GRU officer. You're in the KGB's sphere of influence. Chances are you won't run into him.
Snake: If I do?
Tom: Beat the crap out of him.
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Consequences of smoking
Para-Medic: Snake!
Snake: What?
Para-Medic: Are you smoking a cigarette?
Snake: Nope.
Para-Medic: Yes you are.
Snake: It's not a cigarette, it's a cigar.
Para-Medic: Same thing.
Snake: Not at all. In fact, there's a world of difference. There's nothing quite like the rich smell and mellow flavor of a cigar. And that thick, luxurious smoke is almost sensual when it...
Para-Medic: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. You know something?
Snake: Probably not, but I don't want to hear it.
Para-Medic: Well, you don't have a choice.
Snake: ...
Para-Medic: Cigarettes are bad for you.
Snake: It's not a cigarette, it's a...
Para-Medic: Quiet, you!
Snake: ...
Para-Medic: Smoking is bad for you. In a recent study, scientists found that tobacco smoke is full of carcinogenic substances, like nitrosamines. You know what that means? It means you're going to give yourself lung cancer if you keep on smoking.
Snake: But that's just what some scientists think, right?
Para-Medic: Oh, give me a break.
Snake: I heard it was just a bunch of hu-hah.
Para-Medic: Do you really believe that?
Snake: Sure.
Para-Medic: God, you're gullible. You ought to read this year's report from the Surgeon General. It proves, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that smoking causes lung cancer. Pretty soon the whole world will know that smoking is bad for you. Better quit now before it's too late.
Snake: But...
Para-Medic: And don't tell me cigar smoke is harmless because it doesn't go down into your lungs. It just means the cancer shows up in a different place.
Snake: ...
Para-Medic: Got it?
Snake: Yeah, yeah...
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Snake Escape
(Solid) Snake: This is Snake. I've made it to the sneaking point.
Campbell: You're right on time, Snake.
Snake: For being dragged out of the sack at two in the morning, I did my best.
Campbell: Rise and shine. Don't you love mornings!
Snake: Colonel... Nobody loves being dragged away from their vacation.
Campbell: I'm sorry but we needed you. Something big is going down... very big. That's why...
Snake: Alright, so what is this important mission? I'll say it once and only once... I'm not taking out any Metal Gears.
Campbell: Don't worry.
Snake: And no saving some VIP or some old man.
Campbell: It's nothing like that.
Snake: If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.
Campbell: Well, it's not quite a... hot damsel in distress... but it is a rescue mission.
Snake: Rescuing who?
Campbell: Apes.
Snake: ...
Campbell: ...
Snake: What!?
Campbell: Monkey! But not just any monkeys.
Snake: You said monkeys?
Campbell: Just listen. Your mission is to infiltrate the jungle and capture all of the monkeys.
Snake: Again, you said monkeys?
Campbell: Yes, monkeys.
Snake: This isn't really my thing... If you want your monkeys, you better get Spike or Jimmy.
Campbell: Unfortunately, they weren't available.
Snake: What about me!? I was on vacation!
Campbell: Snake, we need you. If you don't do this, who will?
Snake: It's not like someone else couldn't handle a stealth mission.
Campbell: Don't say that. This is the genre we turned over every leaf in.
Snake: Why don't you make Sam or Gabe do the job? (Sam Fisher of Splinter Cell, and Gabe Logan of Syphon Filter, both rival stealth series.)
Campbell: Snake...
Snake: Isn't this just some monkey catching action? (as apposed to tactical espionage action, stated on the cover of the game.)
Campbell: Snake, I'm asking you. It's a request from the Professor himself.
Snake: THE Professor...? Natalie's grandfather?
Campbell: That's the one.
Snake: The one who came up with the monkey helmet?
Campbell: Well, that was the Professor's classmate.
Snake: His classmate?
Campbell: From high school. Not only that, but the Professor is a friend of Otacon's.
Snake: He's Otacon's friend, too?
Campbell: It's because of the Professor that Otacon has been able to come up with some of his inventions.
Snake: ...Alright... what are the details?
Campbell: So you'll do it, great!
Snake: I'm not against some "monkey catching." But I'd rather be collecting pants.
Campbell: Snake, the monkeys have fled into the jungle. When you find them, knock them out for capture.
Snake: Right. I'm not going to be able to grab them when they are jumping all around the place.
Campbell: Right. When you've grabbed all of the monkeys, your mission is complete.
Snake: Gotcha. Commencing Operation Ape Snake.
Campbell: Snake, when you capture a monkey, yell out the password. With the password, a warp device will activate.
Snake: Understood.
Campbell: Good. I'm counting on you, Snake.
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Snake and Granin
Granin: Hey! You're not thinking of going to Groznyj Grad? Are you mad? It's an impenetrable fortress!
Snake: I'm sure it is.
Granin: You'll be killed!
Snake: I'll take my chances.
Granin: Wait!
Snake: What?
Granin: Listen to me, you fool! I want to help you.
Snake: Help me?
Granin: To thank you for your compliment.
Snake: What compliment?
Granin: My shoes. Tatyana gave them to me. I wanted to thank you for complimenting me on them.
Note: Shoes have traditionally held a special significance in russian culture
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Snake needs Eva
EVA: "Snake, how's it look?"
Snake: "...Pretty bad."
EVA: "Not a sensitive bone in your body..."
Snake: "EVA..."
EVA: "What about you, Snake?"
Snake: "I'm fine."
EVA: "That's good to hear..."
Snake: "We have to get away from here, EVA, let's go."
EVA: "Leave me."
Snake: "EVA!"
EVA: "The Boss is waiting for you. You have to go. Give me a gun..."
Snake: "No! We're getting out of here!"
EVA: "We're still far away from the lake. I'll never make it."
Snake: "I can't believe this."
EVA: "Huh?"
Snake: "I never thought I'd see you act this weak."
EVA: "What do you mean?"
Snake: "Listen to me, EVA. We're doing this together."
EVA: "No, you..."
Snake: "EVA...I need you."
EVA: "Say that one more time."
Snake: "I need you. I can't fly the WIG by myself."
EVA: "All right, then. I guess I'd better help you out."
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Subject: MGS3 Quotes 
Sat Apr 28, 2007 7:12 am
